Finding my pink 12 weeks postpartum

Hello fellow readers! Today’s blog is going to be a little more personal as I am going to be discussing “finding my pink”. I’ve mentioned this concept in a previous blog post, but for those who don’t know the metaphor this is what it means; Rediscovering your “pink” involves finding small moments of joy, confidence, and self-expression that remind you of who you are outside of motherhood

How am I doing this? What am I implementing in my everyday life as a mom? Lets talk about it.

Reclaiming my Personal Routine

I found that instead of reworking my life with a baby, including him into my routine has made a major difference.

Now, this is way easier said than done—if I am being honest it feels easier to just build a life around my son, but I felt like I lost so much of myself that way (in my opinion). Waiting to go to the store until my fiancé came home, waiting to work until he was asleep, etc, made me feel like my life was on pause. I soon learned that I won’t be enjoying my baby, living as a baby myself.

So, what did I start to do?

I started implimenting one small self-care ritual—my personal vice being making a protein coffee.

I noticed that putting my baby in his bouncer downstairs so I can make something that I enjoy, brought me a sense of accomplishment. I don’t know about you, but when my baby is peacefully asleep, or even happily playing on his back and appears content, the very last thing I want to do is disturb that peace. However, I came to realize that by adding him to my daily routine is how both he and I can truly thrive together.

I also learned that he actually enjoyed the change and being added to my activities—even something so small as going downstairs to make some coffee gives him something new to look forward to and smile about.

Now I may lose some people talking about astrology, but as a Virgo I strive with routines, consistency, and a schedule. Having a baby basically bulldozes that as they are so unpredictable and everyday looks very different. This makes my eyes twitch and my therapist says that’s completely normal to feel.

However, I learned that doing the same things everyday can help this. What does that mean? Everyday I make my protein coffee, we go on a walk, maybe I do a chore or two when he’s asleep (this brings me joy, I know WEIRD), do some editing, etc. The kicker is that we don’t have allocated time slots, we get to them when we get to them. Not everyday I complete these tasks, but most days we do and I even find this helps with his naps (he’s also a virgo so this may help haha!) and also helps me feel a sense of accomplishment. My goal is to move my body as much as I can, and I found taking him on walk gives him fresh air, and also helps with my steps. As I am further into my recovery from my c-section, I also added three gym days to my week. This week however I have not had time and that’s okay!

What I strive to complete

I have always struggled with my self-esteem and confidence—now with my new body, new life, I feel further from feeling good about myself than normal—which honestly says a lot. However, I tell my clients all the time to always feel empowered in their skin, so why can’t I? Why is it easier for me to tell others that they should love themselves no matter what, but I can barely leave the house not wearing leggings?

So what am I doing about this? How do I get over this?

Get dressed if I am leaving the house (leave the sweatpants at home)
Use positive words while I am describing myself (I am a big believer that negative energy can hold you back)
Embrace the body I have.

I look back at photos of myself when I was “lighter” and remember never feeling good in my skin. After having a baby, entering a new era, and having a new identity, I am learning I better love what I have while I have it. We as humans are constantly adapting and evolving and my mindset as to as well.

I have said a lot in this post that it is easier said than done—and I will say it again. It is easier said than done to say you love yourself when you don’t feel like yourself. I still lean towards my sweatpants, I still make my self-deprecating jokes, but the point is that I am trying, and that is all I can really do. I know that once my mindset evolves, so will my actions and vice versa.