The Struggles of Mom Guilt While Building a Career

Balancing motherhood and a career has been one of the hardest challenges I’ve faced. There’s an ever-present feeling of being pulled in two directions—the joy of chasing my professional dreams and the heartache of wondering if I’m letting my son down. That mom guilt? It’s real, it’s heavy, and it’s something I’ve battled with everyday the last 4 months, so lets talk about it.

Understanding Mom Guilt

Mom guilt, for me, stems from the fear that I’m not doing enough—not enough at work, not enough at home—hell not being enough of a mom as I “should” be. Society’s expectations whisper (and sometimes shout) that a good mom should always be there for her children—whether that means taking on the “primary” parent role (I.E the stay at home mom, or the parent who picks up their kid from school if sick, etc). But what if I also want something more than stay home? What if staying home full-time doesn’t fill my cup the way I thought it would? Admitting that feels taboo, but it’s my truth.

The guilt hits in different ways:

Missing my child’s firsts.
Feeling judged by others, and sometimes by myself, for choosing to work vs staying home—even if that means I’m working in another room.
Constantly questioning if I’m making the right decisions for my family and myself.

Some days, it feels like I can’t win—whether I’m at my desk or at home, there’s always that little voice asking, “Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?”

The Struggles of Mom Guilt While Building a Career

I can’t count the number of times I’ve felt pulled in different so many directions trying to manage it all. From doing playtime and bath time, to wanting to pressure my education, to editing sessions late at night—the guilt makes me wonder if I’ve got my priorities straight.

Whether it’s subtle comments from a relative or the perfect lives I see on social media, it’s hard not to feel like I’m falling short. “Why aren’t you home more?” or “So who’s watching the baby?” Those words stick, even when I know my decisions are valid for my mental health and personal satisfactory.

Sometimes, I worry I’m being selfish for pursuing a career. Other times, I fear staying home full-time would leave me unfulfilled, and that’s not fair to my son either. It’s a constant push-and-pull of wanting to be everything for everyone while also wanting to be true to myself. There are days when I’m physically present but mentally elsewhere, juggling deadlines and to-do lists. And then there are days I’m fully immersed in family life, but the emails and unfinished projects loom large in my mind.

How I’m Learning to Manage Mom Guilt

I’ve come to accept that mom guilt may never completely go away, but I’ve found ways to keep it from taking over:

Success doesn’t have to mean being perfect in every role. I’ve started focusing on being present in the moment—whether I’m reading bedtime stories or preparing for a big presentation. It’s not about doing it all; it’s about doing what matters. I am also working on setting boundaries—this has been a game-changer. I’ve learned to say no—to work that interferes with family time and to the inner critic that tells me I’m not enough. Turning off notifications during dinner or keeping weekends for family helps me feel more balanced.

Another aspect I am learning is to stop trying to do it all alone. Whether it’s asking my partner to handle bedtime or venting to a friend who gets it, I’ve realized there’s strength in seeking help. There is also strength in saying I need help.

Shifting My Perspective

I’ve started reframing how I see my career. Instead of feeling guilty for being away, I remind myself:

One day my son is going to see me working hard, overcoming challenges, and following my dreams. I hope that inspires him to do the same.

My work helps create opportunities for our family—whether it’s one day piano lessons, family vacations, or simply financial security.

I’m Fulfilling Myself: Being a mom is a huge part of who I am, but it’s not all of who I am. Pursuing a career makes me feel whole, and that makes me a better parent.

Owning My Dual Role

Being both a mom and a career woman isn’t easy, but I’ve realized it’s not about choosing one over the other. It’s about finding a way to blend the two in a way that works for me and my family. There are tough days, but there are also days when I feel proud of how far I’ve come. And isn’t that what we’re all striving for?

All in all

The guilt, doubt, and fear may never completely disappear, but I’m learning to live with them and even grow because of them. Balancing motherhood and a career is messy and imperfect, but it’s also full of love, ambition, and resilience. To all the moms out there trying to figure it out:

You’re not alone, and you’re doing better than you think. Let’s give ourselves grace and remember—we’re building lives, not just careers, and that’s something to be proud of.