A Journey of Change

Motherhood is a journey like no other—it transforms you in ways you never imagined; bringing immense love, growth, and joy, but also unexpected challenges. One of the most bittersweet parts of this journey (for me) is the way friendships can change along the way. If you’ve felt the ache of drifting apart from old friends, know that you’re not alone. This is the story of how motherhood reshaped my connections and what I discovered along the way.

The First Signs of Change

When I first became a mother, I didn’t expect my friendships to shift so dramatically. It started when I was pregnant if I am being honest—freshly pregnant at that.

At first, it was subtle—a missed coffee date here, a delayed text response there, etc—nothing too crazy. My days were consumed by feedings, diaper changes, and sleepless nights, so I never took anything personal. I wanted to be part of their world, but my own had changed so completely that it felt like we were speaking different languages, and that is okay!

For the longest time I was the friend with no kids, and never felt a difference with my older friends with children; and it was naive of me to assume the same of my childless friends. Then, this thought also crossed my mind;

How good of a friend were they if they drifted away after I became a mom?

Struggling to Keep Up

As the months went on, the divide grew wider. I would scroll through social media and see pictures of my friends at concerts, weekend getaways, and spontaneous brunches. Meanwhile, my days revolved around nap schedules and trying to figure out why my baby wouldn’t stop crying—and a lot of these feelings of resentment had nothing to do with them, but my lack of identity out of motherhood and not knowing who I was anymore—and they just became a casualty of my insecurities.

I felt torn. I felt envious of the girls nights I wasn’t invited to; the drinks at bars until midnight—graduating college—all the things the friends of or near my age were doing. I wanted to be there for my friends—to stay connected, but I was also exhausted in ways I’d never been before.

Invitations dwindled, and I started to wonder if I was the one pulling away—or if they were—and at the end of the day I was putting my energy into the wrong parts of my life

The Bittersweet Realization

One evening, after an especially long day of cluster feeding, I sat on the couch scrolling through old photos of the life I once had. I missed those moments a lot, but then I looked down at my sleeping baby in my arms and realized something profound: life had shifted for me, and that was okay.

Friendships aren’t immune to change; Sometimes, they evolve with you; other times, they fade. It’s a bittersweet reality, but it’s also part of growing. And, at the end of the day, I would choose being a mom a million times over again.

Finding New Connections

As I settled into my new identity as a mother, I began to notice something unexpected: opportunities for new connections. I found myself striking up conversations with other moms who just seemed to get it—bonding with those that just get it without having to explain—it became an ultimate blessing in disguise.

These new friendships weren’t about replacing the old ones; They were about finding people who understood my current season of life; just as those old friends of mine doing the same.

There was something comforting in swapping stories about sleep deprivation and teething remedies, in knowing I wasn’t alone in this journey.

Embracing the Journey

Looking back, I see now that motherhood didn’t just change my friendships—it reshaped them. Some faded away, others deepened, and new ones blossomed. It’s a journey of learning to let go and hold on in equal measure.

There are still moments when I mourn the loss of what once was. But there’s also a deep gratitude for the friendships that have endured, for the new ones that have emerged, and for the lessons I’ve learned along the way.

Motherhood is a journey of transformation, not just for you but for the relationships you hold dear. And like any journey, it’s filled with twists, turns, and unexpected joys. The friendships meant to last will find their way, and new connections will bring light to the path ahead.